Friday, June 15, 2007

Our Beautiful, Intelligent Daughter is Gone

Our beautiful, intelligent, talented, fun-loving daughter has gone into the light. We are left with such heartache and sorrow, I cannot even express. Brianna fought so hard and was so couragous, but was unable to overcome injuries.

Yesterday, the doctors told us they were very concerned about neurological damage after her cardiac arrest. Their concern was heightened hours later when her pupils were unresponsive to light and she didn't respond to pain. They believe that on Wednesday, almost 24 hours after her heart stopped, her brain died.

A caring neurologist, the ICU doctor and the BMT doctors took us into a small room and told us that Brianna had undergone brain death. They based it on an EEG and a thorough exam. But we knew before they told us, this was the case. We stood in the room while the EEG was recording her brian waves, and there was no activity. As the neurologist told us, brain death means death. They believe her brain swelled from lack of oxygen and caused it to herniate down into her spinal column.

We came home last night to tell Trevor, and all of us will be going back to the hospital today to say good-bye. They wanted to give her more time, just in case. We prayed for a miracle. Her body is still on life support, and it's still her hands, her feet, her eyes, lips and hair. But you can see she is no longer there. I held her hand and put it up to my cheek, just to feel her touch again on my face. But she is gone. And today we will all gather around her. Later, they will take off the epinephrine that is keeping her heart pumping.

It wasn't supposed to end like this and a huge hole has been cut from our hearts. Trevor has missed her for the past few months, only seeing her while she was on 2North. But today he too wants to see her and say good-bye. My sister and brother, mom and dad, Jim and Mary, and Joyce will surround her with love.

I will never hear her voice again or see her laugh, or hug and hold her. She will be in our hearts forever. Each day is a gift. Don't take anything for granted. Hug your children, and tell them you love them. I will post the date and time of our precious daughter's funeral.


Diane Duda said...

I can't begin to express to you how sorry I am. I've been checking in often on your daughter's progress, and I am heartbroken.
Please find comfort in the arms of your family.

MadameBWishful said...

I am so sorry for you loss. Even though we have never met..... please know that love and prayers are with you from strangers whose hearts you've touched.

Laura Jursnick

ZanyMayd said...


I am so Sorry for your Loss.... I will continue Prayers for Your Families Strength. May Your Empty Hearts be Filled with The Sweet Memories of Brianna.


Tricky Stitches Primitives said...

Iva, I wish I had words that could ease your pain. I give you my heartfelt prayers and I wish you the comfort of friends and family in the difficult days ahead. I will keep you and your family in my heart.
much love, Noelle

Carolee said...

Iva, there are no words to express how sorry I am. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I am praying that in the days ahead you'll find comfort in memories of her sweet, brave spirit. She will always be with you.

~ Carolee

Donna said...

All my love to you sweet Iva

Sam I Am said...

oh dear sweet iva..
my heart is just breaking for all of you..
please know we all love you..and wish we could wrap you in real hugs and be there in person. i am so sorry. i echo everyone here..and wish we could ease your pain.

Taracotta said...

I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now, but please remember that she is always in your memories and heart.

Tara Perry

Kitty Forseth said...

Oh Iva...

We are all so Colleen said.. there are no words. We all love Brianna like she is our own.

I am here, no matter what you need. You and your family are enveloped by a big warm soft blanket, woven from the love of everyone who's live you and your beautiful Brianna have touched.

We love you more than words could possibly ever say...


*retro-rudolphs* said...

Iva, with tears in my eyes I can't begin to tell you sad I am for your loss. Please know that we all prayed very hard for Brianna, now we will pray to help ease your pain.
Hugs, Lori

Peach Street ~ Jamie said...

Iva I am so very, very sorry. I haven't the words to tell you. Just know your beautiful daughter has been an angel to us all - even though we are strangers....

Love, hugs & prayers,


Nina said...

Mrs. Willcox, Mrs. Willcox, and Treavor,

I'm not exactly sure what to say, because I know that there's nothing to just make the pain go away. I would like you to know that Brianna was such a wonderful best friend. She was always there for me, and for everyone! She made us laugh, was always so outgoing, and ready for an adventure. Brianna always looked forward and was so optimistic. It pains me to write all of this is the past tense, but here's something for the present and for always: I love Brianna so much. I always will. All of her friends will miss her terribly, for she is a big part of out lives. I love you all so much. Stay strong

Sylvia Anderson said...

Iva~ I am so sorry for you loss, and words cannot express how sad I am that Brianna is gone. I know she will live on forever in everyone's hearts and memories. She was a special girl, and she will be missed. My thoughts are with you....

Maryjane said...

Dear Mom,
I am sorry I have to leave
but you see it just had to be
before there was conception
I watch you from up in heaven.
I wanted to know how love could feel
I search all over for many years.
Seeing lots of souls every season
only you gave me a reason
to beg our father to let me go
He held my hand and said just so you know
You will open many hearts and touch lots of souls
But if you go down to Earth, you will never grow old.
You won’t have a child on your own to hold.
Only for a few seasons, I have my reasons.
In 2007 you will come home to Heaven.
Go my child and spread your love and fill your heart.
A mother’s love will never part.
What a gift you gave to me
Remember when I was just 3?
Running thru the park
kinda scared of the dark.
But I never had any fear and
I want to thank you my dear
I just want you to know
I will always love you so.
Thank you for the gift you gave to me.
I am going to treasure it for eternity.

I am sorry for your loss. anniescupboards - Sherry

Carol Maglio said...

I am so very sorrow for your loss and wish I had the words to help ease your pain. Your sweet girl's vibrant spirit will always be with you and your family. My prayers are with you all during this difficult time. Carol

lisad said...

Words cannot begin to express How sorry I am. I have been reading your blog about your beautiful daughter for the last few weeks, and my heart aches for all of you.
~God bless you all~

Judith Weber said...

Dear Iva,
My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry about Brianna. Your devotion to one another is so deep; your love so strong. She will always be with you. Thank you for sharing Brianna with us. Thank you for giving us so much.
Tom and I both want to extend our gratitude and our sympathy to you, John, Trevor and the rest of your family.
Love, Judy

Emily said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. You are all in my prayers. I know that because of you and your story, love knows no bounds.

SweetAnnee said...

Dear Iva, I have been praying for Brianna.
May the peace of Christ be with you ~~& know
your sweet Brianna has a PErfecTly healed body
and God holds her in the palm of His hand.
Form a caring stranger, Deena

Stephanie Coop, said...

I am so sorry and sad. We've never met "personally" but still I am glad I found your blog. I have been changed by your words and Brianna's beautiful smile. I value my minutes with my children more and have taken things you've said to heart. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I pray God's peace totally surrounds you. You are an exemplary mom.

Kingfisher Farm said...

Iva, we cannot know the depths of your sorrow, and I know we saw only just the surface of the depth of your love! This is just so much for you to share with us! I am truly sorry for your loss. She is among the angels now. Blessed be all of you who mourn and miss Brianna, Hugs, Pam

Michelle said...

My prayers are with you and your family. I know it is such a terrible place you are in right now, but Brianna is in the most beautiful place ever. Somehow, maybe that thought can comfort you in time. And in time, you will will feel her touch and hear her sweet voice again in heaven. My heart is broken and grieves for you, I am so sorry for your loss.

Love from a stranger,
Michelle Sylvia

Trenton said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. Brianna was a wonderful friend and such a talented artist. It pains me that I'll never see her work again.

Goodbye Brianna. I'll miss you terribly.

Trenton Szewczyk

Arbutus Hunter said...

I'm sooooo soooo sorry to hear about Brianna. Now I know I have a heart, because I can feel it today...and it hurts for you. There are no words to express how sorry...but please know we have all been blessed by Brianna and her loving family. Lessons have been learned. I will have a special picnic with my husband this weekend, just to appreciate him and to celebrate life.

God Bless,


dolls of yore said...

Even though we don't know each other, I have been following your blog and praying for your beautiful daughter for quite a while, ever since jojo brought her to my, and many other people's attention. I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious child. I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Karen said...

My heart is breaking for your family! I am so sorry! I know that your precious daughter in in heaven watching down over you all. She is no longer in pain. I will keep you all in my prayers!! XOXO
Karen Nieforth

Dixie Redmond said...

Iva -

I have been and will continue to pray for your family.


Geri said...

Indiana will be praying for you. I am truly sorry.

Disgusted Cats said...

Oh, Iva, I too am broken hearted for you. Beautiful Brianna has touched all our lives, and so have you. Your beautiful reflection of God's love, your courage,and your dedication have been an inspiration to us all. We wish we could relieve you of your pain Know we love you.

Jody said...

I'm so sorry.

kmclaughlin said...

i know of your loss through a friend. i sit here with tears streaming down my face and the thoughts of your grief in my head and heart.
my prayers go out to you.
i cant imagine losing one of my daughters. i am so sorry.
kim mclaughlin

troyG said...

I am so sorry that all this had to happen. Brianna was such a sweet and positive girl to hang around with, and I'm sure anyone who has ever met her will say the same. She always had a smile on her face. I will always remember the friendship i shared with her and I just wish that the time from when i met her and when she received her transplant was longer. I pray for you and your family because I know how close you two were with each other. She was a good person and a true friend

FrostingsNSparkles said...

I cannot express how sorry I am. I have been following your story, and mpraying with your family. Please know that there is so much love and concern out there, I cannot fathom your pain and loss, as a mother it makes me heartsick for you. I'm crying with you today, and praying for your comfort

CCs Whimsies said...

No are no words Iva. I am so sorry, and I pray for peace in your heart. I love you so much! Christy

CountryfolkKeepsakes said...

Iva, I am so very sorry to hear the tragic news of Brianna. I will continue to pray for you and your family for strength. There is comfort knowing she is home with the Lord. Blessings to you, ~Karin

Soft in the Head said...

Dearest Iva and family...Even though her time here was short she left such an impact on so many, most she had never even met. This makes Brianna live forever, because each one of us now carry a piece of her in our hearts for all eternity. She has taught all of us to treasure the life we have here and to hold the ones we love close. Her legacy is a great one! Pam

Lauren said...

I don't know you or your family, but I have been deeply moved reading about Brianna and her progress. As a parent to 4 children myself, I can't imagine how difficult this has been to go through and I would just like you to know that your family and Brianna are in our prayers. Heaven has been blessed with another angel today.

Elaine Thomas said...

I am deeply sadden for your loss. I will continue to pray for you and your family during this time. Fill your heart with the goodtimes and the wonderful times that you spent with her. My love goes out to you and your family.

Elaine Thomas

Angela said...

A mother's love is like no other.
God bless you and your family in the coming days. Thank you so much for sharing Briana with us.

Anonymous said...

I am totally devastated

JoEllen said...

Sweet Iva, I really do not have the words to express my heart felt feelings of great care about your loss. We have been there from the beginning with you and care so much. Know that our prayers continue for you and each member of your family.

With love to you.
Hugs JoEllen one of your Pfatt sistas

Johanna Parker said...

Oh Iva..please know that you are in my thoughts as I ask for courage, strength and healing for you and your family.... I am at a loss for words right now, but I'd be hugging you all and sharing tears if we were together. In spirit, please know that you have an infinite amount of love being sent by caring souls who are thinking of you......

~ Johanna

Edge said...

I am very sorry for your loss. Your daughter and your family is in my prayers.

I'm at a loss for words to express just how much this blog and Brianna's plight has effected me. God bless you all in this sad time. Like the other posters here, I'm heartbroken to have read this most recent entry.

Lorraine said...

I only hope my sincere sympathy can give you a little comfort in this sorrowful time.....I will keep you all in my prayers....God Bless....

Cara said...


Merely*a*Dream said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. She was a very beautiful girl.
She has touched our hearts and we are deeply sadden. Our prayers and love go out to you and your family.

Cathy Obeshaw & Carol Karr

Blair Creek Cabin said...

Winter fades the garden now
where laughter used to flower.
It makes us sad to linger here--
The minutes seem like hours.
But though we only see the loss
Of what we used to know,
In time the warmth of memory
Will make the garden grow--
And shades of love we thought we'd lost
Once again will show... peeking through the snow.

My heart is so heavy and there are just no words. Prayers of Peace, Comfort and understanding for each of you.
Your sister in Christ,

Carol M. said...

Iva, I've been reading your post every day and hoping and praying for a miracle. Your Brianna was beautiful and brave with strength beyond her years. I wish I could have known her. What beautiful memories you will always have. I've learned to stop asking "Why?" - there isn't an answer. I pray that you and your family will feel God's presence and lean on Him for the strength you will need for the days ahead.

The Smiling Goat said...

Iva, My heart is filled with such heavy sorrow. May God bless you and your family and may all the Angels and Saints look over you in your time of need! Your beautiful daughter is still with you and will be part of you for eternity!


Pippastrella said...

I have followed your blog on Brianna since you started it. I have thought of your family everyday and prayed for your sweet daughter. When I read that she was gone I became so grief stricken that I became dizzy and sick. My heart just aches for your family. I am so sorry for the loss of such an amazing angel. She has touched so many lives.

Henry Stokes said...

Dear Iva and John,
You tried so hard and so did Brianna. We could only stand by, pray and hope.
Now we stand by and try to share your grief. Be as strong for yourselves as you have been for her.
Why is a question only God can answer. But he gave us love and the power to hold memories, if not the ability to understand loss like this. Hold onto both.
Henry and Kitty

Max said...

Dear Iva,

I am sorry for your loss, no amount of words can appease your pain for Brianna's loss. Brianna was so beautiful, sweet, loving, artistic and thoughful. This is why my son, Max loves her so much.

Max loves Brianna so much that he followed Brianna's wishes before she left for the hospital; "Not to see her until she is well and out of the hospital."

(If only I can say I love you one more time... -Max-)

Brianna and your family will always be in our prayers, and will be in my son's cherished memories.

Edelle Fesunoff said...

Just simple words will not begin to express how very sorry i am for your loss. I am so sorry that there is a hole in your heart. I can only hope and pray that the hole will begin to heal and get smaller. I know you will miss her terribly. She is no longer in any pain, nor is she suffering. She is in a beautiful place surrounded by loved ones and wonderful things. It is now your pain that you will have to heal, not hers.
Even though we have never met, pleaes know that Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your sweet family.
God bless.

Tamsen said...

Dearest Iva, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful daughter. Your writings, as a devoted and caring mother, have touched many hearts. I will continue to pray for you and your family and may God continue to give you the strength to carry on with life and share the precious memories you have of your daughter.

jen said...

Iva: you have seen your precious child through a long and perilous journey; your faith and courage is inspiring. I hope that the tracings that Brianna has left on your soul will soon become the filaments that mend broken hearts.

Ingrid weber said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter, sister, grandaughter and friend. I had hoped to meet you at Brainna's coming home party, not her funeral. I am praying that God will get you through this difficult time. Much love goes out to you all.

Jenna said...

Iva and family,
Earlier today when I walked past you in the halls of the hospital I had no idea what had just happened. It wasn't till halfway through my shift when I found out. If I could turn back time I would tell you this face to face. Your daugher IS a very special young lady! It was an absolut joy taking care of her & I looked forward to those nights. I will never forget Brianna.

With Love, & tear streaked eyes

chelseatroper said...

Brianna will never truly be gone to her family and her friends. With every giant smile, I will see her smiling. With every paint brush I touch I will be painting for her. She will be in every song I hear, singing and dancing along. But most importantly, Brianna will be with me always through the lessons she has taught me. She has inspired me to be creative and comfortable with myself. I am not the same person I was before I met her and I will never be the same without her. I love Brianna and I only wish I could have told her more often.


Prim and Proper Folks by Susan Walker said...

Iva, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you and your are in my prayers.

BECKY said...

I will keep you in my prayers.
God Bless,
Becky~On A Wing and A Prayer

The Polka Dot Pixie said...

Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family

mewette said...

Oh Iva my heart just stopped when I read Brianna was gone. I am so deeply sorry. I sit here sobbing because I know the pain you are going thru as you know I lost my beautiful daughter Vikki ten years ago. The only thing that I can say is "time" will heal..Just trust in that and your faith:)
Love & blessings my friend,

shelley said...

hi, we had posted a few comments through out the week but for some reason they havent been published. i am writing to you heartbroken and filled with saddness for lovely brianna and more for the whole family, left with such sorrow. I commend you for being able to verbalize so sincerly and clear through out this time from the begining till briannas going to the light, that she is and always was.
this is the hardest thing for a family to indure
in a life time. bless you and may briannas light shine inside you all, here and above for eternity!
love and heart filled blessings
shelley, meli, alan&mike

nicol sayre said...

Dearest Iva and family
I am so heartbroken for your loss.. I heard of your daughters struggle through a friend and followed her story and never envisioned an ending such as this. Her joy and life will live on through your love and your memories. As a fellow mother and artist I wish you peace and comfort with all my heart. said...

Iva, words absolutely fail me in expressing how deeply sorry I am. My heart is breaking for both you and your family. May God bless and comfort each of you throughout this immensely difficult time. I will be keeping all of you close in my thoughts, prayers and heart.

With love

plum bob said...

i don't know you, but i sat here today sobbing while reading your entire blog. i actually just joined blogger so i could write this to you...i am so sorry. i hope you know that you are an incredible, amazing mom—just as brianna was an incredible, amazing young lady.

M said...

Dear Iva, My heart is broken for you and your family. Take comfort in the love that you have for each other. Peace my friend.
~They say there is a reason,
They say that time will heal,
But neither time nor reason
Will change the way we feel.
For no one knows the heartache
That hides behind our smiles,
No one knows how many times
We've broken down and cried.
We have to tell you something
So there isn't any doubt,
You're so wonderful to think of
But so hard to do without. ~Author Unknown

the magpie said...

Dear Iva, I am so very sorry...words fail. I will continue to pray for you and your family...


nature lover said...

Dear Iva and Family,

I have never had a blog before but surfing the web I came accross your blog. I had to join . What a beautiful your lady .
I know we never expect to out live our children. But God has a greater plan for her. I have a small poem that I would like to share with you.

Do not sit at my grave and weep:
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on a ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifing rush
of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there.
I did not die.

Peace and love

Rabbit Hill Creations said...

Dear Iva & Family, I am so heartbroken to learn that your precious angel has been taken from you and the rest of us that grew to know her from your blog. Thank you Iva for sharing this very intimate part of her with all of us. Her pictures reflect such beauty & kindness. I truly believe she will be watching over you & your family hereon. My heart crys for your loss. Toni

Rachael said...

May God Bless you and your family, and friends with strength of body & spirit. As a Mom to 4, I cannot even begin to imagine or comprehend your sorrow~ I am sure Brianna is looking down upon you now, wanting you to know that everything will be O.K. God will never give you anything you cannot handle~ be strong
Deepest Sympathies~ Rachael

Mitchell Gutierrez said...

I remember the first time I met Brianna. It was the first day of sophmore year and I noticed that she was new to school. She was really funny and I had a good time hanging out with her. I remember that shortly after she left off the bus I got a text message from your neighbor ( Gregg Morasco) saying "your cute" I thought it was Gregg being weird but he told me the next day it was Brianna. Well we became friends after that and I enjoyed her company on the bus and during school every day of the year. I consider her one of my very best friends. I miss her so much and I hope you all recieve the flowers I left at your door. Brianna was unique because she could be herself and didn't care about following any trends. She was a trendsetter. She used to bring dorky little pokemon cards to school but instead of giving off the impression of being nerdy she made you want pokemon cards of your own. I will always love and thank Brianna for having brought a smile to my face every single day since I have met her and I will always keep her in my thoughts as I know you will too. If there is any person whom is perfect or close to it, its Brianna and I hope I can one day be as kind and caring as she was.

turquoise cro said...

You, Brianna and your family are in my prayers, and my heart is broken for You! I am so sorry to hear of Brianna just tonight. I would have loved to contribute some art also, if I had known. Take gentle care of each other, you will be in my heart as I continue to think of all of you and pray.