A Step Forward, A Step Back

In talking with the doctors today, they said that they tried to continue to wean her off the ventilator, but her lungs said too much. So they had to back up a little. As they told us it might be two steps forward, one step back. This is just too hard for me to hear.

I asked how long can someone survive on a ventilator like this and one doctor said for months. I pray Brianna gets better before that. She already got a sore on the left side of her head from laying on that side for a day and a half. She has no skin break down anywhere else from laying all the time, and I want to make sure it stays that way.

I think some of the doctors are convinced that this is another fungal infection. My prayer is that it's not and it's something that can be treated. So far though, bacterial has been ruled out. We should know more today.

John and I are staying at the Ronald McDonald house, where the transplant kids and their parents stay after they're discharged. It seems like we're the only ones there, except one other family. I recognize the mother and her young son from our time on 2 north. I have to admit, that's hard to see them when I keep thinking that instead of Brianna and I there together, it's John and I and she's in the ICU.

Brianna's friends Chelsea and Nina have sent posts, and they are so sweet! Oh, how I wish Brianna was with you both at a concert or having fun. I read your notes to her and hope that she hears them and continues fighting. Also, Brianna never got a chance to thank her friend Troy for the great gifts he sent. Troy I know she loved everything you sent and laughed at the book you got about being a Republican millionaire. Thank you for brightening her day a week or so ago before all this.

Trevor is coming today, but I don't want him to see his sister in this state. It would haunt anyone for a very long time. I will try to spend some time with him, since we've been so consumed with getting Brianna well. My dad will be here again to talk to Brianna. John has been here in the mornings, going to work and then coming back around 5:30 pm. It's so hard for him to work while thinking about her.

Thank you all for your emails and posts. Pray very hard for us and keep sending your thoughts of well-being. Time is standing still it seems, and I want to fast forward to the day when Brianna is laughing and joking with us, while Winston our dog is by her side.